Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
My dad just said "fuck circus"
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
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