google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
Randomize
