mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
How external is "for external use only"?
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
Randomize
