so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
Randomize
