Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
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