It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
Randomize
