You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
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