Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
True strength comes from lack of pants
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Randomize
