idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
Randomize
