I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
Randomize
