whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
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