Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
Randomize
