Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
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