Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
Randomize
