wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
Randomize
