so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
Randomize
