Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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