Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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