Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
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