I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
ALERT: Turns out when I'm drunk I turn into a clepto. I just found keys, a ketchup bottle, and sweatshirt in my backpack that don't belong to me. If yours, come collect from me. I'm still drunk in the back of biology lecture.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
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