She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
don't judge my taste in strippers
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
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