she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
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