nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
there was a trapeze. enough said
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
Randomize
