Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
Randomize
