Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
I informed him that we had less than 5 minutes left to live, and his first words were "I'm trying to think of a good They Might Be Giants quip"
Randomize
