It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
I swear to god I'm going to hunt down and stab the next telemarketer that calls from a blocked number while I'm waiting for my STD results...
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
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