We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
Hippo gnu deer
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
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