Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
Randomize
