We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
Randomize
