I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Randomize
