Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
Randomize
