Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?�
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