i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
So much rum. So many feels.
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
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