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this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
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