i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
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