i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
