I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
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