Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
Randomize
