why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
Randomize
