omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
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