I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
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