the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
Randomize
