That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Randomize
