Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
only if we run a train.
done.
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
We left the knife in your bed.
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
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