they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
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