do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
Randomize
