This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
Randomize
