I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
Randomize
