the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
So I just found out that my mom and dad arent married
What? They have three kids?
Yep. And apparently I have a half brother. Happy Birthday to me
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
Randomize
