he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
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